The Shovel

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Category Archives: Entertainment

Facebook’s 10th Birthday Cake To Be Decorated With Colourful Pieces Of Your Personal Life

Staff at social media juggernaut Facebook will be celebrating their company’s 10th birthday today by gorging on a giant cake, tastefully adorned with delicious fragments of your personal life. Advertisements

February 4, 2014 · 1 Comment

Axing Of Today Tonight Sends Shockwaves Through Fad Diet Community

Channel 7’s decision to scrap current affairs flagship Today Tonight in Australia’s eastern states is a massive blow for serious journalism, according to those who rely on the show’s in-depth investigative … Continue reading

February 3, 2014 · 13 Comments

My Kitchen Rules Promo Disrupted By Tennis Game

An extended promotion for one of Australia’s favourite TV shows, My Kitchen Rules, was constantly interrupted by a game of tennis last night, leading to an angry response from some … Continue reading

January 21, 2014 · 3 Comments

Humanity Accepts That It’s Probably Going To Have To Give Miley Cyrus Some Attention Soon

Miley Cyrus is one, maybe two, outrageous performances away from getting us to look up from what we’re doing, it was reported today. 

November 11, 2013 · 3 Comments

Greg Hunt Pays Tribute To Lou Reed, “One Of The Greatest Basketballers Of Our Time”

Environment Minister Greg Hunt released a statement this morning, praising the career of the late Lou Reed, who died at his New York home yesterday.

October 28, 2013 · 3 Comments

Amazing! 25 Women Simultaneously Fall In Love With The Same Man

In a bizarre coincidence, twenty-five young women all fell in love with the same man this week, despite never having laid eyes on him. The extraordinary event was caught on … Continue reading

September 11, 2013 · 3 Comments

Media Tricked Into Thinking Kate Middleton Is Interesting

After more than two weeks camped outside London’s St Mary’s hospital, journalists are starting to fear the worst: what if the Duchess of Cambridge is actually just a boring, 31 … Continue reading

July 19, 2013 · 2 Comments

Justin Bieber “Turning Into A Bit Of A Weirdo” Says Michael Jackson

In an interview from Heaven yesterday, dead pop star Michael Jackson said he was concerned about the wellbeing of teenage sensation Justin Bieber.

July 15, 2013 · 2 Comments

“It Was At About The 85 Minute Mark That I Realised This Movie Wasn’t About John Howard”

Opposition Leader Tony Abbott says he was well over half way into watching the latest Superman movie Man of Steel before he realised it was about a comic character and … Continue reading

June 26, 2013 · 2 Comments

Rupert Murdoch Updates His Online Dating Profile

Newly single and with a spring in his step, media mogul Rupert Murdoch was back on the prowl this morning, with a brand new profile on dating site eHarmony.

June 14, 2013 · 9 Comments

Man Spent 15 Years With Celine Dion Song Stuck In His Head

German doctors say a man spent fifteen years with “My Heart Will Go On” stuck in his head, following a childhood accident.

May 30, 2013 · 1 Comment

Surprise! Daft Punk Take Off Their Helmets

The secretive robot-house duo Daft Punk is actually Greg Page and Anthony Field from the Wiggles.

May 15, 2013 · 5 Comments

Bear Grylls Survives An Entire Afternoon With Kate Middleton

British adventurer and TV star Bear Grylls had to use his most advanced survival skills yesterday when he was forced to endure several gruelling hours with some of the most … Continue reading

April 22, 2013 · 3 Comments

Celebrity Splash “Actually A Real TV Show”, Channel 7 Reveals

Television network Channel 7 today claimed that Celebrity Splash – which most people thought was just a funny 30-second spot to fill up air time in ad breaks – is actually … Continue reading

April 21, 2013 · 5 Comments

Melbourne Man Trips Over His Banjo, Accidently Writes Next Mumford & Sons Album

He’s only been learning the instrument a week, but when Melbourne man Jeremy Knight tripped over his banjo in the hallway yesterday he quite literally stumbled across musical stardom, unintentionally … Continue reading

February 27, 2013 · 8 Comments

New Neighbours Theme Tune Will Actually Just Be The Sound Of A Lawnmower And A Couple Having Noisy Sex

The company that produces Neighbours, Fremantle Media, has announced plans to revamp the theme tune of the famous soap opera.

February 19, 2013 · 1 Comment

Axing Of Today Tonight “A Massive Blow For Serious Journalism” Says Diet Pill Guru

Jenny Holsworth – whose company sells FatChance, a miracle pill that helps you shed three quarters of your body weight in just 8 weeks – says Channel 7’s apparent decision to scrap … Continue reading

January 31, 2013 · 3 Comments

Status Quo Says Music Career Has Panned Out “Pretty Much As Planned”

Francis Rossi, frontman for English 70s rock band Status Quo, claims there is nothing left for the band to achieve, saying it was always his dream to be the face … Continue reading

January 30, 2013 · 2 Comments

The 2013 Season of ‘Federal Politics’, Coming Soon! (Advertising Feature)

Critics have labelled it ‘shocking’, ‘gut-wrenching’ and ‘an absolute f*cking farce’. If you thought Federal Politics couldn’t get any more ridiculous, strap yourself in for the new 2013 season.

January 24, 2013 · 1 Comment

Kanye And Kim’s Foetus Already An Annoying, Narcissistic Twat, Sources Say

The unborn child of rapper Kanye West and reality TV star Kim Kardashian has taken on the attributes of its famous parents, Tweeting from the womb yesterday that it feels … Continue reading

January 6, 2013 · 1 Comment

Women’s magazines ‘unprepared’ for Royal Twins, experts say

With speculation mounting that Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, may be carrying twins, there are growing fears that trashy women’s magazines are simply ill-equipped to handle the sheer volume of … Continue reading

December 4, 2012 · Leave a comment

Oprah follows up Microsoft fail with a barrage of suspiciously inspirational tweets

Yesterday Oprah Winfrey made a fool of herself, and Microsoft, when she tweeted about how much she loved the tech company’s new Surface tablet – from her iPad. By this … Continue reading

November 22, 2012 · Leave a comment

“Archbishop George Pell totally misunderstood my email” says Jesus

The son of God, Jesus of Nazareth, issued a statement this morning claiming Sydney Archbishop George Pell misinterpreted the meaning of an email Jesus sent to Church hierarchy last month.

November 13, 2012 · 6 Comments

SHOCKING DISCOVERY: A Current Affair Uncovers ‘China Town’ In Sydney

Less than a week after exposing the alarming ‘All Asian Mall’ in Sydney’s North West, investigative news program A Current Affair has uncovered another ‘Asianised’ area of Sydney that it … Continue reading

November 12, 2012 · 3 Comments

“Wanted: 2GB Fact-Checker”. Can you pass Alan Jones’s recruitment quiz?

Broadcaster Alan Jones has started the search for an employee to check the accuracy of his on-air statements after yesterday’s ruling by the Australian Communications & Media Authority that ordered … Continue reading

October 18, 2012 · 8 Comments

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