The Shovel

Australia's second favourite source of satire, after Today Tonight.

Indonesia To Allow Schapelle Corby To Go Home, As Long As It’s On A Boat

Schapelle CorbyOperation Sovereign Borders will face its toughest test yet when Schapelle Corby sails into Australian waters on a small fishing vessel, possibly as early as this weekend.

The mouth-watering scenario – previously thought to be just a wet dream a tabloid current affairs show producer had once  – became a real possibility today when the Indonesian President offered the famous drug smuggler freedom, on the condition she smuggle her own way home.

The proposal puts Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott in a difficult position. He’ll need to weigh up his commitment to stop the boats, against his desire to appeal to Schapelle sympathisers in marginal electorates across the country. His office was unavailable for comment today.

The Shovel is Australia’s satire news website. For more, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter.

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16 comments on “Indonesia To Allow Schapelle Corby To Go Home, As Long As It’s On A Boat

  1. Mikhail Baxterchov
    February 6, 2014

    Oh, god – now we’re going to have nationalists crying out for all the exorbidant expenses and services ‘luxuriated’ upon her. Y’know, stuff like phone calls to her family, daily eyebrow plucking and eyeliner application, etc, etc.

  2. Nic
    February 6, 2014

    I would pay money or contribute to a crowd sourcing page for this to be turned in to a tv show. Something that combines “border security” the old 80’s version of “it’s a knockout” with a sprinkle of “now you see it” for the educational/”line two position three” battleships elements. Get some panel/hosting work done by Daryl sommers, red Simons and Larry emdur and this would be one of the most highly profitable shows going.

    • Riki Rikochet Jewell
      February 7, 2014

      And if it was crowd sourced I would definitely donate! That sounds like awesome viewing!

  3. Max
    February 6, 2014

    This sounds like an old “Yes Minister” episode
    This is an amusing episode for the PM

  4. andy
    February 6, 2014

    Hope the boats sinks on the way over

  5. Rik
    February 6, 2014

    Is there any possibility of passing the hat around and getting Ken Ham a berth on the same boat?

  6. Bob
    February 6, 2014

    What a pathetic story; why bother with such drivel?

  7. jv
    February 6, 2014

    Is this for real? I feel sorry for Indonesia, they have a president with a mind of a third grade student. I really hope aussie politicians ignore this nincompoop of a president otherwise this will become a school yard brawl….. facepalm….

  8. Ian Date
    February 6, 2014

    so many people have been mean to Schapelle Corby. Your satire is contemptible. The lack of support for her, whatever she was alleged to have done is horrible. If it were true(I don’t think it was) It was only pot for fucks sake.

    • TRUTH
      February 7, 2014

      haha retard…… have a look at her families priors for drug trafficking.. ohh i forgot noone knew about that coz the media didnt reveal it to the PUBLIC

      • Ken Bird
        February 7, 2014

        The death penalty seems to be a less of a deterent than the hip pocket nerve.

        Just a simple question.

        Why would someone take a valuable commodity, such as illicit drugs, into a market that sells the same commodity for a much lower price?

        Actually, the meejar has put out those allegations on quite a few occasions.

  9. Reading Comprehension
    February 7, 2014

    How can you morons not notice the line at the bottom that clearly says “The Shovel is Australia’s satire news website.” At least The Onion disguises their satire somewhat.

  10. Sickboy
    February 7, 2014

    My name is Schapelle,
    My sister’s Mercedes,
    And we are what happens,
    When bogans have babies

  11. sparrow
    February 7, 2014

    to this Day i still think she did not do it , Look at her father ( dead now )and her brother … Schapelle come home

  12. Nick Gilbert
    February 7, 2014

    Its a boolshit Idea, IT WON’T FLOAT

  13. JB
    February 7, 2014

    Sink it. Nobody with half a brain would care.

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This entry was posted on February 5, 2014 by in World and tagged , , , , , .

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