The Shovel

Australia's second favourite source of satire, after Today Tonight.

2014 Shaping Up To Be Quickest Year Ever, Work Colleague Confirms

fast train“It’s already February” account manager Jodie Burns told colleagues today. And if her predictions are correct, it will soon be March.

“And then it will be Christmas again,” according to colleague David Krieg.

But not everyone is buying the time-related claims. Office manager Georgia Burrows said she doesn’t believe it’s February already. “It was only last week that we were preparing for the end-of-year party,” she claimed.

The Shovel is Australia’s satire news website. For more, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter.

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9 comments on “2014 Shaping Up To Be Quickest Year Ever, Work Colleague Confirms

  1. bjkelly1958
    February 3, 2014

    We bring it on ourselves. Just the other day, February 1 to be exact, I attempted to date a prescription receipt the 1st of March.

  2. journolillianaltman
    February 3, 2014

    I love how you guys keep posting stories on things I think about/talk to people at work about.

  3. olddavey
    February 3, 2014

    I wish I had time to comment but time goes by so quickly there’s no time.

  4. Mikhail Baxterchov
    February 4, 2014

    If another year keeps racing ahead like this, pretty soon it’ll be going so fast that it’ll eat itself. That’s right, before we know it, it’ll be before we know…! Time will speed up so much, as we are ‘moving forward’, that’ll it begin to go in reverse, and there’ll be no turning back, from turning back. We’re not going to know ourselves as we move forward, back ever faster.

    • olddavey
      February 4, 2014

      Or is it “before we know it, it’ll be after we knew it?”

  5. uloola
    February 4, 2014

    Energy drinks such as Red Bull are now tax deductible.
    The old fashioned sayings such as “Hurry up I don’t have all day”,will be replace by the expression “Hurry up I don’t have all minute”
    Leap Years will be abolished and replaced by Velocity Months.
    The idea that clocks should be replaced by speedometers has universal appeal and time itself will be measured in nano seconds.

    • Mikhail Baxterchov
      February 4, 2014

      Brilliant! You’re a future leader, my friend. I’d vote for… Ooops – too late. Damn!

  6. uloola
    February 4, 2014

    Don’t bother voting for me just cut out the middle man and vote for Rupert Murdoch,the Darth Vader of Australian media is rumoured to be about to patent the concept of time and erect a pay wall around it.
    Those who do not wish to contribute will have the concept of time increased, in that knock off time on Friday arvo will seem like weeks away and long weekends appear as a distant galaxy.

    • Mikhail Baxterchov
      February 4, 2014

      A long time ago, far far away? I’m starting to see Rupert, News Corp and his evil minions, REALLY being like Darth, ‘The Empire’ and the commanders + stormtroopers. They could aim their Death Star mega laser at any spot on our planet, if we don’t comply. Crazy rebellious little me, continues to avoid his products, string pulling and paywalls – by simply not buying, reading, clicking or voting from/on/for anything to do with him. He even owns the ABC magazine ‘Delicious’…! Feck ‘im. (ducks for cover in case laser traces a line at my head or keyboard)

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This entry was posted on February 3, 2014 by in Society and tagged , , , .

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