The Shovel

Australia's second favourite source of satire, after Today Tonight.

Australians Told To Impartially Cheer For Home Team At Tomorrow Night’s T20 Match

Tony Abbott satireThe Federal Government has asked its citizens to barrack for Australia with rigorous unbiasedness at tomorrow night’s T20 cricket match against England at the MCG.

“We think it’s important that people support the home side in a totally neutral way,” a Government spokesperson said.

“We’d expect Australians to have a thorough commitment to viewing both sides unemotionally and completely equally, with a clear-cut preference for the Australian side”.

He reminded the umpires that they should be meticulously even-handed in giving the benefit of the doubt to Australia.

The Shovel is Australia’s satire news website. For more, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter.


11 comments on “Australians Told To Impartially Cheer For Home Team At Tomorrow Night’s T20 Match

  1. pGoo
    January 30, 2014

    Well he certainly has proven to be “the suppository of all wisdom” he aspires to!

    No doubt Rupert was head nurse for the imparting of said wisdom…

    • Squirrel
      January 30, 2014

      Thank you, pGoo. I couldn’t have put it better.

  2. Damien Tann
    January 30, 2014

    Tony was born in London, I bet it will be a different song when Australia plays someone other than England. Impartial favouritism.

  3. Diana Husoy
    January 30, 2014

    This is a joke, right??

  4. In breaking news, cricket umpires have also been requested to carefully and impartially review decisions in Australia’s favour.
    “These are ah critical decisions, and ah there is no ah more ah room for unpatriotic umpiring when ah the well being of the ah Australian ah television watching public is at ah stake.” said the Prime Minister haltingly yet stiltedly from his press gallery treadmill, his head audibly creaking with each forward nod caused by the burden of concentration. “These ah umpires should ah repent and ah carefully consider what it is they ah intend to bring to the ah game and whether it will ah benefit White Australian Heterosexual working families or ah not.”

    • olddavey
      January 30, 2014

      Is that you wearing the high tech bra?
      The lipo and placcy looks ace!

  5. Clarrisani (@Clarrisani)
    January 30, 2014

    I will provided the balls they’re hitting for six are Abbott’s.

    • Squirrel
      January 31, 2014

      Oh, Clarrisani, that one is a bit below the belt! Ouch!

  6. olddavey
    January 30, 2014

    Let’s hope the wind and tides are right for our chaps.

  7. The Politicoid
    February 8, 2014

    The Mad Monk Tony Abbott got my award for Wingnut of the Week – Check it out on Politicoid if you like…

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This entry was posted on January 30, 2014 by in Politics and tagged , , , , .

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