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ABC Comes Clean: “Mr Squiggle Was A Puppet”

mr squiggle satireJust days after journalist Piers Akerman exposed ABC cartoon character Peppa Pig as a left-wing feminist mouthpiece, the Australian national broadcaster has conceded that iconic children’s television star Mr Squiggle was nothing more than a puppet.

The confession comes after months of speculation, with some insiders saying it had been an open secret in the industry for years that the ABC was pulling the strings.

This morning ABC Managing Director Mark Scott said it was time to tell the truth about Mr Squiggle. “He was under ABC control from the start; Mr Squiggle did what we told him to do. He was the face, but there were people above him controlling every single move,” Mr Scott said.

Columnist Andrew Bolt added fuel to the fire late today by suggesting Mr Squiggle’s co-star – Blackboard – had chosen to identify as black purely for political and career-development reasons.

Blackboard angrily denied the allegations, saying they had the potential to turn his life upside down. Mr Squiggle was unavailable for comment.

The Shovel is Australia’s satire website. For more, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter.

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14 comments on “ABC Comes Clean: “Mr Squiggle Was A Puppet”

  1. edward eastwood
    December 15, 2013

    Rofalmao Shovel, and keep ’em coming! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 😉

  2. Gary bennell
    December 15, 2013

    The Federal Minister, Eric Abetz, on the BOLT REPORT this morning, revealed that Mr Sqiggle was suspected of working for the shadowy, secretive, Indonesian, WAYANG SOCIETY

    • Greg
      December 16, 2013

      I always suspected…..

  3. Andrew
    December 15, 2013

    OMG Mr Squiggle was a Puppet!!!!!!!!!!! all my childhood memories are now shattered.. Thanks ABC…. and don’t tell me Bill the steam shovel wasn’t real…… and Blackboards don’t talk and tell you to hurry up ?………. (assumes fetal position and cries)……………….

  4. Word Journeyer
    December 15, 2013

    I reckon the whole “upside down” thing was revolutionary propaganda.

  5. Alphonse
    December 15, 2013

    Piers has point. The ABC should show some balance, particularly for preschoolers in their formative years. Chuck Norris, Bruce Williston and John Wayne movies, and old TV series like Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best would be suitable.

  6. Brooks
    December 16, 2013

    yeah, more Bruce Williston movies for everyone I reckon…

  7. Greg
    December 16, 2013

    Can’t be long now before safari suits are back in…….

  8. Anthony
    December 16, 2013

    Next they’ll be revealing Tony Jones is a puppet. Or is an announcement unnecessary in that instance?

  9. PrussianBlueDay
    December 16, 2013

    Mr Squiggle my childhood hero thanks ABC can you can pull some strings and “hurry up, hurry up” putting him back air or at the very least flog me a Mr Squiggle app?

  10. Peter Russo
    December 17, 2013

    And I always thought he was just a pencil…

  11. Maurice
    December 17, 2013

    It is very clear now what the coded messages in statements such “Can you see what it is?” and the curious predeliction Mr Squiggle has for drawing elephants…. I cannot believe I was so blind, for so many years. The truth was staring us in the face for so long and we refused to take any heed. :-p

  12. The Gabster
    December 17, 2013

    Just another puppet on a string……

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This entry was posted on December 15, 2013 by in Politics and tagged , , , , , .

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