The Shovel

Australia's second favourite source of satire, after Today Tonight.

Christmas Uniforms Not Humiliating Enough, Retail Workers Say

Christmas satireAs retail assistants around the country look forward to another festive season, many say their employers are not giving them enough opportunities to look like a total dick.

Lillian White, who will this year work her fourth Christmas season at the local supermarket, said wearing furry reindeer ears and a shiny nose last year looked great, but believes her boss missed an opportunity to push the festive theme further.

“It’s a self esteem thing. When I’m wearing a Santa hat or I’m dressed as an elf, I feel confident and in control. So I’d certainly support going further”.

Ms White says her co-workers have been throwing around a few ideas. “Singing Christmas carols while we scan grocery items is one idea that’s come up. But I really think shoppers want more Christmas spirit than that. My vision is for a full-scale re-enactment of the nativity with every purchase”.

Jean Forchester, a regular grocery shopper, agreed more could be done in retail outlets. “When checkout operators come to work without a novelty hat, or just wearing a token piece of tinsel, it feels forced. Sometimes I wonder if the shops even know it’s Christmas”.

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5 comments on “Christmas Uniforms Not Humiliating Enough, Retail Workers Say

  1. Squirrel
    November 28, 2013

    Love it! Thanks for the chuckle.

  2. edward eastwood
    November 28, 2013

    Ditto! ROFLMAO

  3. Mel
    November 28, 2013

    I used to work in a pharmacy 20 years ago that forced me to wear an elf costume with loud bells attached to it. Brings back memories!

  4. Word Journeyer
    November 28, 2013

    I was always disappointed during my retail days with Christmas music being played on a constant loop for only two months before the big day. Partial insanity is a real tease.

    • Bonny Rowson
      December 12, 2013

      ^ Hahahaha, this made me laugh so hard (the article too of course, but this reply is gold)

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This entry was posted on November 28, 2013 by in Society and tagged , , .

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