The Shovel

Australia's second favourite source of satire, after Today Tonight.

Americans Saved From First World Healthcare

US shutdown satireThe threat of a modern healthcare system may have been averted thanks to American ingenuity.

US intelligence had pointed to a long and sustained attack that could have dramatically altered the American way of life. But by turning everything off and hiding in a small cupboard, America has managed to make itself difficult to pinpoint for would-be enemies.

While the battle is still ongoing, Americans are confident affordable healthcare can be driven out of the country once and for all. Ohio resident Mary Radclave summed up the mood, “I don’t want my children growing up in a country where they can get easy access to the care they need,” she said.

But Republican Party member Joe Gritch said that while much progress had been made, Americans needed to remain diligent. “This is a sophisticated, modern enemy that has the ability to spread wide-scale wellbeing very, very quickly. So we have to remain on guard. Public healthcare has already infiltrated most of the rest of the world. Could you imagine what would happen if America was next?”

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14 comments on “Americans Saved From First World Healthcare

  1. Sandro
    October 2, 2013

    “Affordable” healthcare?

    • adolf the uncaring
      October 2, 2013

      Absolutely spot on. We the fittest and most privileged should never be forced to contribute to health and well-being of the disadvantaged and less fit. The old and those born with health issues should be allowed to depart this world as quickly as possible lest they become a burden.

      • Bobana06
        October 4, 2013

        Well your mentally ill so…… You might be needing some help soon.

        • Omega
          December 11, 2013

          Don’t feed the trolls.

    • Kimberly Wiltshire
      October 7, 2013

      Speakers Corner much? AKA this guy is speaking opinion rather than fact.

  2. Otto
    October 2, 2013

    The reality is that pretty well the only country in the world that does not have some form of effective nationalised health care is now only the USA.

    While you may have a stubborn opposition to it, it has been realised across 6-7 billion people that it can work and pretty well always does work well.

    The World is more than a little puzzled why your Republican Party cannot accept the Republican model for health care as demonstrated as being effective in implementation by your Republican Presidential nominee.

    This whole issue is not making the USA look particularly clever nowadays.

    And we don’t get how your welfare can be derailed by someone who wants to read aloud from Doctor Seuss in your Congress.

    Not a good look, we reckon.

    • deshara
      November 14, 2013

      Because our government is run by corporations who love being allowed to take money from poor people.
      Romney was a governer before he got to the presidential race so he wasn’t high up enough to be getting paid to keep ruining this country

  3. rvbm
    October 2, 2013

    Reblogged this on The Alternative Zeitgeist and commented:
    What are your thoughts on the shut-down?

    • katt
      January 8, 2014

      It was frustrating and embarrassing. First Republicans were proud of it, when they realized the majority of Americans were angry, they blamed called it “Obamas’ shut-down.” A lot of Federal employees were not getting paid, congress voted that they were necessary and still received paychecks. There wasn’t a very clear picture of how it ended, except that Obama signed a budget deal and a lot of finger pointing.

  4. Forestwoodfolkart
    October 6, 2013

    There is no such thing as social justice in America. They don’t get the concept of anything beyond their self. The American dream perpetuates the “it’s all about me” syndrome

    • highonparanoia
      October 10, 2013

      you may want to rethink your perspective on that. when you use the term ‘they’ it suggests that you believe every single person in the united states doesn’t get the concept of anything beyond self. the truth is that many here believe in the idea of universal justice without regards to nationalism or any other sort affiliation. there’s just no media representation of it.

  5. uloola
    October 6, 2013

    It’s all about Darwinian Capitalism.’Survival of the Richest’

  6. Pingback: Americans Saved From First World Healthcare | OzHouse

  7. musteryou
    November 7, 2013

    HAHAHAHA.

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This entry was posted on October 2, 2013 by in Most Read, World and tagged , , , , .

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