The Shovel

Australia's second favourite source of satire, after Today Tonight.

Fading Genius: Warne Can No Longer Squeeze His Face Into A Glass

Shane warne satire

(image from news.com.au)

The man who could once bowl a batsman through his legs and turn a ball three feet on a flat wicket can no longer fit his face in a tall-glass, it has been revealed.

In a sign of his fading powers – which may explain his recent retirement from all forms of cricket – Shane Warne tried on multiple occasions to entice his head into a glass during the recent race meet at Royal Ascot. Each time he failed.

Shane warne humour

“His frustration was palpable,” said one commentator. “He’s probably the most talented person in Australia, ever. So this is a sad day. It just shows that, no matter who you are, no matter how gifted you are, we all get old. We all lose the ability to do the things that we once found straightforward. Even prodigies like Shane”.

Ron from Sydney was less diplomatic. “This country’s going down the gurgler. We’ve got massive debt, unemployment’s out of control, the Government’s a farce. And now Shane Warne can’t fit his head into a bloody drinking glass. God help us”.

Mr Warne was unavailable for comment.

Want more? Follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter

Advertisements

One comment on “Fading Genius: Warne Can No Longer Squeeze His Face Into A Glass

  1. Samantha Banfield
    July 30, 2013

    Pure genius!

Post a comment ...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on July 30, 2013 by in Sport and tagged , .

Enter your email address to get the latest scoops shovelled to your inbox

Follow The Shovel on Twitter!

  • Looking for The Shovel? We've had our underscores surgically removed. We're now tweeting from @TheShovel See you there. 1 year ago
%d bloggers like this: