The Shovel

Australia's second favourite source of satire, after Today Tonight.

Rupert Murdoch Divorce Settlement: Wendi To Get Kids, Australia

Rupert Murdoch satireRupert Murdoch’s recently estranged third wife Wendi Deng will take over control of the couple’s children and Australia as early as next week, after the two came to an agreement over their divorce settlement this morning.  

Under the agreement, Mr Murdoch will retain control of the United States and Britain, with the ‘scraps’ – as one Murdoch ally described it – going to Ms Deng.

Ms Deng – a former executive at News Corp subsidiary Star TV – said she needed a hobby and had always wanted to run a small-to-medium sized country in the Asia-Pacific region. “I’m really excited about getting to know more about this important part of the company,” she said in a statement.

The development is likely to create further uncertainty in Australian political circles, with analysts unsure who Ms Deng will install as the country’s next Prime Minister. Ms Deng said she’ll make an announcement on the Prime Ministership “in due course”.

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12 comments on “Rupert Murdoch Divorce Settlement: Wendi To Get Kids, Australia

  1. Mike
    July 2, 2013

    Another female PM? So soon?

  2. uloola
    July 2, 2013

    The office desks at all News Ltd offices will be rearranged to enhance the Feng Shui.Foxtel will be rebranded as The Year of the Foxtel with subtitles in Mandarin.Chinese Marines will be based in Western Australia to protect the iron ore mines.The Godfather of one of Ms Dengs children,Tony Blair, will be appointed Governor General with powers to invade at least one country of his choice.
    The speculation about who will be anointed to the PMship is centring on Ms Penny Wong,but she will have to wear a Kimono and have her feet bound,in keeping with ancient tradition.

  3. Mr Cool
    July 2, 2013

    Oh, right, Ms Deng is going to become an Australian citizen now, is she? If she elects a Liberal she’ll have to be able to say who the Cricket Captain is and why he is called Pup. We might, if we’re lucky, be able to have Rinehart booted out of the mining sector and have the Chinese companies come and mine it directly and keep the profits (oh, and Clivey poo that includes you, so you might have to sell your Palmersauria joke).

  4. Greg Tenni (@greg10e)
    July 2, 2013

    Sounds like Julia got her timing wrong by about 6 months.

  5. goodrumo
    July 2, 2013

    Reblogged this on iheariseeilearn.

  6. brigittegrisanti
    July 3, 2013

    What is the age difference between both of them?? Feel sorry for the children.

    Brigitte Grisanti

  7. lyn peel
    July 3, 2013

    she knows toooo much … ha ha ha … Rupert the tables are turned on you!

  8. uloola
    July 3, 2013

    Don’t worry about the age difference between RM and WD, Tony Blair will become the surrogate father as well as godfather because his present job as UN ambassador for middle east peace is proving a complete waste of time.

  9. mark delmege
    July 3, 2013

    gives a new meaning to dengy fever.

  10. Christopher
    July 4, 2013

    Love the Dengue fever, great chuckle between house chores.

  11. Mr Robert Luxford
    July 4, 2013

    Is Rupert wearing a beret?

  12. markarit Yaziciyan
    July 6, 2013

    Im leaving the country if this happens

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This entry was posted on July 2, 2013 by in Business, Most Read and tagged , , , , .

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