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Coalition MPs Unsure How They Will Describe Australian Economy If It Actually Does Go Into Recession

Joe Hockey and Tony Abbott satire

(image from SMH)

Coalition MPs were locked in crises talks this morning after it became apparent they had run out of ways to make the state of the Australian economy sound any worse.

After two and a half hours of deliberation, Shadow Treasurer Joe Hockey emerged saying the party had considered all options, but in the end had decided to invent a range of new terms. He said the new terms will enable MPs to adequately describe worsening economic conditions, should they occur.

“I think you’ll like what we’ve come up with,” Mr Hockey said.

“The economy is fuzwopped.

“This is a budget topnopple.

“Unemployment is at hootingbrand levels”.

Mr Hockey said that not everyone in the party room initially agreed with the new direction. “Tony wanted to say ‘unemployment is ginormous’ or ‘this is a really, really, really big budget emergency’. But we managed to convince him that that might sound a bit childish”.

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17 comments on “Coalition MPs Unsure How They Will Describe Australian Economy If It Actually Does Go Into Recession

  1. Peter
    June 20, 2013

    Sounds like too much Frobscottle & Whizzpoppers…..(The BFG. Roald Dahl)

  2. uloola
    June 20, 2013

    They should be wearing helicopter hats.Please remedy this oversight in your next photograph.
    P.S.Is it true that Jolly Joe Hockey was having an affair with Wendi Deng?

  3. goodrumo
    June 20, 2013

    Reblogged this on iheariseeilearn.

  4. Peter
    June 20, 2013

    You people are pathetic, YOU are the reason I’m going to vote Liberal and many more are feeling this way. Do you notice there are not hundreds of Liberal sponsored hate pages speaking absolute crap like this, there is only ONE “gillard worst PM in history” there must be hundreds of Labor ones. Goes to show if you want to vote for a sensible, adult, honest party you have to vote Liberal.

    • uloola
      June 20, 2013

      Peter.Can you help me?I wrote to John Howard to ask him why he didn’t go to Iraq to receive the accolades he so richly deserves,no reply has been forthcoming,I also asked him why his treasurer sold three quarters of our gold reserves to achieve a budget surplus,still nothing, he must still be in the G.W.Bush library looking for a copy of his memoirs.Could you intercede in this matter for me?

    • nicko
      June 20, 2013

      Most Tony Abbot fans are yet to get dial up.

    • Greg
      June 20, 2013

      Then you’re not looking very hard, Peter….

    • Scott Clarke
      June 20, 2013

      Peter, as my children say, “whatever”.

    • narcoticmusing
      July 9, 2013

      Peter – your comment assumes that mainstream media aren’t already filling that position – have you looked at a news corp page in the last, I don’t know, 5 years?

    • NickyNoo
      February 7, 2014

      Quick! Somebody call the waaaaaaambulance, we’ve offended Peter.

  5. edward eastwood
    June 20, 2013

    ps. Liberal party insiders said that it was a tough job convincing Tony not to use such terms, and that initially he threatened to go into his office and hold his breath until his face turned blue.

  6. uloola
    June 20, 2013

    Lets not get into a debate about coloured people.

  7. uloola
    June 20, 2013

    What about the economy has become Rudderless?Or maybe a Swansong?
    Gotta go now I need more Gin.

  8. Abbott Lies
    July 17, 2013

    WTF Peter ? Your voting Liberal because of some silly satire ? Cmon, tell us the truth Peter, you are a bleeding heart liberal ! Because if you weren’t you wouldn’t be offended about a bit of humor.

  9. lmrh5
    July 17, 2013

    Reblogged this on lmrh5.

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This entry was posted on June 20, 2013 by in Politics and tagged .

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