The Shovel

Australia's second favourite source of satire, after Today Tonight.

Rupert Murdoch Updates His Online Dating Profile

Rupert Murdoch satireNewly single and with a spring in his step, media mogul Rupert Murdoch was back on the prowl this morning, with a brand new profile on dating site eHarmony.

In the profile, Mr Murdoch describes himself as a ‘regular guy’ with simple interests. “On the weekends I generally just pop out to buy a paper,” he says.

Under the ‘Interests’ section, Murdoch lists “Herald & Weekly Times, The Times (London), Fox News Network, Wall Street Journal … see attachment for full list”.

He lists his hobbies as “watching TV, sailing, marriages and trying to determine the outcome of elections”.

At the bottom of the profile, Mr Murdoch asks interested parties to “just leave a message on your own voicemail and I’ll make sure I listen to it”.

The profile also stipulates that the successful candidate will get the first five conversations with Rupert free of charge each month. After that she will need to pay a monthly fee for unlimited access.

Mr Murdoch insists the photo he used in the profile was taken “just last year”.

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9 comments on “Rupert Murdoch Updates His Online Dating Profile

  1. The Tunnel
    June 14, 2013

    Such a pity that Vladimir Putin has just remarried.

  2. Geoff Acton
    June 14, 2013

    The Tunnel – your comment is classic. Made me laugh more than the 2 posts. Or perhaps tomorrow’s “jaw dropping” news will feature both of them?

  3. Marg Ludowyk
    June 14, 2013

    What a catch!

  4. Pingback: The wives of Rupert Murdoch | Independent Australia

  5. mludowyk
    June 15, 2013

    What a catch

  6. uloola
    June 20, 2013

    The Dirty Digger has announced he is planning to marry his dog,this is to ensure that at his next appearance at a media inquiry any pie throwers will be torn limb from limb.Any prenuptial agreement will only have to include a packet of doggy treats as compensation for marrying the wizened old prune.Any offspring from the union are expected to sign a confidentiality agreement to ensure that no lurid pictures of the act of union appear in rival publications.

  7. Pingback: Rupert Murdoch Divorce Settlement: Wendi To Get Kids, Australia | The Shovel

  8. evan
    December 11, 2013

    At the bottom of the profile, Mr Murdoch asks interested parties to “just leave a message on your own voicemail and I’ll make sure I listen to it”.

    hah!

  9. Bill Kell
    December 28, 2013

    Short & to the point : DROP DEAD.

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This entry was posted on June 14, 2013 by in Entertainment and tagged , , .

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