The Shovel

Australia's second favourite source of satire, after Today Tonight.

“We Were Deeply In Love”: Oscar Pistorius Gives Emotional Tribute To His Guns

Oscar Pistorius satireSouth African runner Oscar Pistorius gave a heart-felt speech in court today, describing the intimate relationship he enjoyed with his favourite assault weapon, Mikey the Machine Gun.

Holding back tears, Pistorius said, “‘I am absolutely mortified by the events and the devastating loss of my beloved Mikey. We were deeply in love and couldn’t be more happy”.

Pistorius, dubbed the ‘Blade Runner’, broke down as he described how he and Mikey slept together every night and often went to restaurants and movies together. On their last night together they stayed up watching television and doing yoga.

Since Pistorius was charged with the murder of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, it is unlikely that Oscar and Mikey will be able to spend time together again.

A friend who knew the couple said the forced separation was tragic. “If Oscar had asked Mikey to marry him, Mikey probably would’ve said yes. They were that committed to each other”.

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One comment on ““We Were Deeply In Love”: Oscar Pistorius Gives Emotional Tribute To His Guns

  1. SJ
    February 20, 2013

    Not sure about this one guys – a little in poor taste, and not very funny.

    Can’t win em all though I guess – keep up the other great work on the site.

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This entry was posted on February 20, 2013 by in World and tagged , , .

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