The Shovel

Australia's second favourite source of satire, after Today Tonight.

New Innovation: Department Store Enables Customers To Send Christmas Gifts Directly To Land-fill

landfillA major low-cost department store says it is ‘cutting out the middle man’ by allowing customers to send its range of cheap plastic toys, low-quality outdoor settings and budget home-wares straight to land-fill, before the gifts reach family and friends.

Under the scheme, shoppers buy Christmas gifts for friends and family as normal. But instead of taking the presents home to put under the tree, they place them straight onto a conveyer belt, which leads to a big hole in the ground. The goods are later crushed.

Head of Consumer Goods, Bib Pollock, says the system makes a lot of sense. “Why go to the trouble of lugging home goods and wrapping them up, only to see them out on the median strip for January’s hard rubbish? Under our scheme, you can dispose of the crap before you even get back to the car park?”

Shopper Dawn Dickson says she believes the idea will take off. “I’ve told my family that I’ll be using the land-fill system this year and, frankly, they’re relieved. Saves them having to fake a smile when they get some tacky BBQ Essentials Kit they don’t want”.

Like this? Like The Shovel on Facebook. Or follow The Shovel on Twitter.


Post a comment ...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on December 11, 2012 by in Business and tagged , , , , .

Enter your email address to get the latest scoops shovelled to your inbox

Follow The Shovel on Twitter!

  • Looking for The Shovel? We've had our underscores surgically removed. We're now tweeting from @TheShovel See you there. 1 year ago
%d bloggers like this: