Australia's second favourite source of satire, after Today Tonight.
New Zealand’s peak tourism body was in disarray today after management learnt it was highly unlikely that JRR Tolkien will write any further books.
The island nation has based its entire tourism strategy on passing itself off as Middle Earth and the notion that lucky visitors might catch a glimpse of Bilbo Baggins doing his weekly shop. That strategy now appears in tatters.
A spokesperson for the organisation said he was devastated. “With The Hobbit coming out in cinemas later this year, we’re ok for the short term. But our ten year plan is f*cked”.
The shocking news apparently came to light during a planning meeting. An intern was asked to get in contact with Tolkien to see how he was going with his next series. She replied “Yeah, um I reckon he’s dead”.