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Reality TV star and business magnate Donald Trump announced today that he will undergo surgery to remove genitalia from his upper facial region.
The delicate procedure – likely to take up to five hours – has never been attempted before. But doctors are hopeful Mr Trump will make a full recovery.
The star of The Apprentice said this morning “I’ve had this penis on my head for most of my life, but it’s gotten a lot more obvious in recent times. It’s hard for people to take my conspiracy theories seriously when there’s this cock dangling down around my eyes.
“Even I have trouble looking at myself in the mirror sometimes. Which is saying something.”
Mr Trump says Chinese spies, under the orders of Barack Obama, secretly implanted the penis on his head while he was sleeping.
The operation will be filmed for an upcoming reality TV show The Appendage.