The Shovel

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Aaron Sorkin reassures American liberals: “Don’t worry, I’m writing a backup plan in case Obama loses”

jed bartletAcclaimed television writer Aaron Sorkin says he’s not overly concerned about the closeness of the polls for the upcoming Presidential election, telling fans he is putting the finishing touches to an alternative reality where liberal ideals are taken for granted and Fox News is an animal rights network.

On a typical day in Sorkin’s new universe, residents will be faced with a serious moral dilemma – a debt crisis, world hunger, the Tea Party – which will be satisfactorily solved in time to watch the evening news.

The creator of much-loved dramas The West Wing and The Newsroom says in his parallel world everyone will have proper health cover and an ability to converse effortlessly in quick, witty dialogue. “Not only will Mitt Romney and America’s obsession with outlawing abortion cease to exist, so will awkward pauses and clumsy conversation,” Sorkin said.

To enter the alternative reality, concerned citizens will need to curl up in the foetal position with their hands covering their ears and shout “this is not happening” three times.

“I’m almost hoping Romney does win now,” said one excited Democrat voter from Brooklyn. “The thought of Jed Bartlet actually calling the shots and Will McAvoy reading the news is too good to give up”.

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This entry was posted on November 1, 2012 by in US Election, World and tagged , , , , .

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