The Shovel

Australia's second favourite source of satire, after Today Tonight.

New Yorkers stockpile food, water as fears of a Romney victory grow

Hurricane Sandy

(image from abc)

Supermarkets shelves were stripped and gas stations sucked dry today as thousands of New Yorkers prepared for the worst. With the Presidential election just days away, many liberal Americans were coming to terms with the fact that they might need to spend the next four to eight years shut away in an underground bunker.

“It sounds extreme,” said Queens resident Martha Vernon, “but it’s not as extreme as Mitt Romney”.

While polls suggest Obama has a slight lead over his Republican rival, for many it’s not a chance worth taking. Bob Huckert from Lower Manhattan said he made the mistake of assuming Al Gore would win in 2000 and was left stranded above ground. “That was a tough eight years man, having to actually live through a Republican presidency. I’m not going to risk that happening again,” he said.

Steve Bradford from Brooklyn was philosophical about the situation. “Sure, I’d prefer to stay above ground, but it’s not as bad as it sounds. We’ll probably spend the eight years singing Bob Dylan songs and watching re-runs of The West Wing, so it’s actually quite an enticing prospect”.

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This entry was posted on October 29, 2012 by in In The News, US Election, World and tagged , , .

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