The Shovel

Australia's second favourite source of satire, after Today Tonight.

Hardcore Aussie sports fans disgusted with Magnussen’s ‘massive’ loss

James Magnussen final

It was America’s Nathan Adrian first, daylight second and James Magnussen a distant third. Or so it seemed to some Australian fanatical sports fans who are fed up with James Magnussen’s failure to perform at this year’s Olympics.

Margaret Jones from the Sunshine Coast, whose nine year-old son Taylor is an elite junior swimmer, said when she saw the American win the race she went to the kitchen to make the kids’ lunches. “When I came back, Magnussen still hadn’t touched the wall. I couldn’t believe it”. She says her son would never have been so lacklustre in such an important swimming meet. “As I say to my son Taylor ‘The Tornado’: ‘If you come second, you’re a loser’”.

Hamish Cranbourne, whose football career was tragically cut short by a knee injury, now works as a production assistant at Channel 9. He says he asked his boss whether he should cut to an ad break while they waited for Magnussen to finish, but was over-ruled. “I could’ve played the entire suite of Commonwealth Bank Cant ads,” he said this morning.

Meanwhile, swimming fan John Varco, who was at the race, used the time between first and second to pen a list of ‘Ten more useful things I could be doing with this 0.01 of a second’. “I also finished that Sudoku I’ve been trying to crack all week”.

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This entry was posted on August 2, 2012 by in 2012 Olympics, Sport and tagged , , , , , .

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